Back To School Night

Welcome back to school, kids! Tonight is that special night when your parents get to go to all of your beloved classrooms and hear about how your amazing teachers just adore you, and your parents get to be pleasantly surprised about such good marks you've been having in class. They know now that you haven't been passing notes in class, dozing off during lessons, or discreetly using your phone like some teenage American punk. No, you are their intelligent child, a future prodigy, planning your own gateway into ivy league schools. You are the amazing bright star of your class, leading the other inferior peers that you must go to school with simply because you already have seven other private tutors from Oxford, Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cambridge, UCLA, UCBerkley, and UCSD.  Not only that, but you are the president of Key Club, Speech and Debate, and a budding superstar writer at the Tellury, as well as a varsity swimmer, runner, and basketball player, leading your school to multiple national championships. This Back to School Night, your parents get a chance to believe in you and your future prospects again. Forget Palomar or Miramar College, you can get into Harvard! No more burger flipping at your local McDonald's, you're going to run for president! And living with your parents for the next...rest of your life? Impossible! You'll be vacationing in France, living in your 12 different exotic mansions that are located at prime spots throughout the world!

Dreamily, your parents will sway and sigh at just the thought of all your future achievements that have not yet been realized. They will pat you on the head, hug you, kiss you, and whisper praise into your ear as you drift into a deep, content sleep tonight.

Then, in the morning, when all of you are wide awake again, and are back into the world of mediocrity, and your parents realize how pathetic it is, you will receive another kiss, an Italian kiss, a slap straight to the cheek. You will receive a loud lecture about the meaning of life, go to school, not learn anything, go home, and then do all of it again. Until the next, Back to School Night.

The King

This entry was posted in Comedy, Entertainment, School.